i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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