I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize