Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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