Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
