after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
