okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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