well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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