I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
