I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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