You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
