wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
