Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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