I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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