I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
