u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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