allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How does one acquire holy water?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
