I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize