Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize