Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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