Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
