i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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