a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
