Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
