Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
