You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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