He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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