hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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