I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
