I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.