she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
