I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.