ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum