Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son