We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.