So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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