I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
