My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All the doctor said was why
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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