Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
