Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
MIDGETS
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Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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