I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
