you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's always time for handjobs
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
