Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
