guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
