Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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