The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
