I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
