When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
