Sry I called you an 8
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
