Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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