this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
