yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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