"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
