I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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