I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
