you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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