that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
