sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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