just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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