the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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