I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
third nipple confirmed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
