I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
