4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
