i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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