I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
