just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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