actually, I'm a sock model
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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