2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
