we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
