u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
