ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
